Saturday, July 14, 2012

Why Public School's Social Skills Stink Part 3: Siblings

I have come up with 6 reasons why public schools are one of the worst places to learn social skills. If children come out of public school with social graces, I place most of the credit on their parents, communities, and the parents of their friends.  NOT on the public school system. I will post these six reasons separately (because I'm very opinionated about this and need space to vent.)

Reason 1: You only associate with children your same age.
Reason 2: You only have friends the same gender as you.
REASON 3: You are not friends with your siblings.

I never saw my brother at school.  We never sought each other out.  Is there anyone out there that did see their siblings at school?  On purpose?  My brother always walked me home,  but that was it.  I blame this on Reason 1 and Reason 2.  Your siblings are not your same age, and they might not be your same gender, thus it is not cool to hang out with them.  And so, twins are usually exempt from this social regiment.

It seems that in the real world, siblings should be your first link in social networking. Siblings should be able to learn from each others financial success and/or failures, because they should be candid with each other and tell each other the whole story.  They could be your confidents, your investors, your support group, your mentors, your beneficiaries, and/or even your business partners.

Domestically, siblings should be there for each other. They are the ones who are actually interested in ever detail of your birthing stories. They are the ones that will watch your kids.  They are the ones to tell you how to get permanent marker off of that oil painting.  They will tell you weather or not you need to go to the hospital if you think your child's pinky toe is broken. They are the ones who care about nurturing your kids, and having you nurture theirs. They are the parents of your children's cousins!

Yes, we are all individuals, and yes all of us have different views and opinions despite growing up in the same household, and yes some of the most heated arguments you will have in life will probably be with siblings, but there is something very true about "blood is thicker then water." We need our siblings.

Public school does not support this, and the natural social system that is set up by peers, tends to try to tear sibling bonds apart. Instead of working together with siblings throughout childhood and protecting and lifting each other, you are taught that your sister is so "mean, annoying, ugly, stupid" (these are the first things that show up when you google "my sister is so") and that my brother is so "annoying, stupid, selfish, weird."  Siblings should never matter more then your peers, or you are threatening that peer relationship with rivals.  True?  Come on, you know it's true in many kids minds even if they don't conscientiously realize it.

Not all public school children don't want to be friends with their siblings, but it takes more effort as a family OUT of school to make sure that family ties are respected and cherished.  It's not the public school system that teaches that.

Home schooled kids?  Well, yet again, they are forced to do things as a family.  They are big families too.  Statistically, a home schooled kid has an average of three siblings.  Of course, the Duggars are home schooled and they have, what? 19 kids? so I'm sure there are some home schooled only-child scenarios too.

When you are habitually with your siblings and have learning, cleaning, and everything else shared between you, you learn how to get along or at least cooperate with each other.  (Don't get me wrong, there are fights and BIG frustrations along the way.) But the sibling relationships that I first saw with my sister-inlaws' children was one of the main things that drew me to homeschooling in the first place.

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